With all the technology we have available these days, maintaining a long distance relationship should be easier than ever. While technology is a great tool for communication, however, being physically apart from your partner for long periods of time is still tough.
So, are long distance relationships worth the effort? 25 million people in the UK have given it a go at some point and an impressive 60% have resulted in marriage!
If you’re wondering whether to get into an LDR or want to improve a current one, we’ve got some long distance relationship advice for you. Let’s take a look at what you can do to boost your chances for love and success.
1. Get into a rhythm of communication that works for both of you
If you have different work schedules, time zones and additional commitments it can be more challenging to make time for each other. You could also find yourself settling into a pattern that works well for one partner but is putting pressure on the other.
To make sure the time you spend communicating works for both of you, ask yourselves:
- Do you want set times for communication or more flexibility?
- When do you have unrushed time in a private setting?
- When are you usually in a good mood?
- Is there a time in the day when you crave connection the most?
- Who has the more flexible schedule?
- Do you enjoy spontaneous texting?
- Who should start the contact?
Getting into a rhythm that works for both of you may take some time and flexibility. There are so many ways you can arrange things; you just need to figure out what works best for your long distance relationship.
You’ll want to avoid falling into a pattern where frustration and resentment start building up. Your communication should be convenient, supportive and most of all enjoyable!
2. Ensure your future goals are aligned
Long distance relationships are more successful when it’s clear that the distance is only temporary. While you don’t need to have everything completely mapped out, you’ll want an idea of how you’ll bring your lives together in the future. It’s easier to get through the tough times and missing each other when there’s an end goal.
If you have very different ideas about what your end goal is, this could cause friction in your relationship. Have open conversations about when and how the long distance will end.
3. Don’t just rely on technology
Video calls and texting is a godsend for long distance couples, but there is more you can do. Having something physical that reminds you of your partner can be really powerful. This could be an item of their clothing, a special gift from them, or a symbol of your commitment to each other. Sending an unexpected gift or a funny postcard can also make your partner feel valued and loved.
4. Have quality conversations
One of the perks of being in a long distance relationship is you don’t have to talk about the boring stuff like who’s doing what chores. While you probably won’t speak as often as couples who live together, you can ensure the conversations you do have are high quality.
If you put a bit of thought into what you want to tell your partner, or what you want to discuss with them before your planned call, you can ensure that you make the most of your conversations and still build intimacy.
5. Keep in touch with each other’s daily activities
If you don’t share the smaller details of your day, it can be easy to lose touch and grow apart. What does your partner do in their day-to-day life? Examples of what you might discuss include:
- What they got up to in their lunch break
- What friends they’ve caught up with and how they are
- Who’s driving them mad a work
- Any family news
The key here is to ensure you know what makes up your partner’s daily life and who the main people that they see. This will ensure that you feel connected to them even though they’re far away.
6. Don’t go overboard with planning your time in person
When you’re in a long distance relationship, the time you do get together is precious. Because of this, there can be a tendency to get excited and plan loads of things to do to make every second count. While it’s great to plan a few activities, being super busy could end up stressing you out. Remember, sometimes it’s the smaller moments, downtime and nights in that build intimacy.
7. Keep living your life
You don’t want to be putting all of your time and energy into maintaining a long distance relationship. You still need to live your life!
If you sacrifice too much, you may end up regretting it and resenting your partner later. Continue to cultivate friendships and stick with your hobbies and interests. You’ll want to ensure you’re living in the present and enjoying your life instead of waiting for a new one to start. You never know what bumps and setbacks may come along that mean you have to wait longer to be with your partner.
8. Look at your situation in a positive light
While long distance relationships come with their challenges, there are also benefits. Being apart will make you appreciate your partner and the time you have together more. Instead of dwelling on how unfortunate it is that you are apart, stay positive and keep in mind that overcoming this challenge will make your relationship stronger in the long run.
9. Check-in but don’t check up on
Does absence make the heart grow fonder or is it more out of sight out of mind? Worrying about this is completely normal when you are far away from your partner and don’t always know where they are and what they are doing. Try not to let the distance make you paranoid about infidelity if there aren’t any other warning signs.
If you find yourself regularly worrying about whether your partner is being faithful and checking up on them, then you have a problem. They’re going to get annoyed if you start turning detective on them, so be honest about any concerns and work on rebuilding trust. Which brings us onto…
10. Trust them and earn their trust in return
Trust is a huge factor in any relationship, but it can really make or break a long distance one. Trusting that your partner will still faithful is only one facet. You’ll want to ensure that you’re phoning when you said you would, that you stick to plans for communicating and meeting up and don’t push them back. Listening to each other is also key so that you understand one another. It’s all about being a worthy partner for each other.
Have you experienced being in a long distance relationship? Are you in one now? Leave us a comment below with your thoughts and any additional tips!