The course to love rarely runs smooth, however, when you do find a great partner to settle down with the hard work doesn’t end. Maintaining a great relationship takes work, dedication and compromise but the good news is that it will be worth it if you can learn and grow together.
If you’re looking for some relationship advice tips that will keep you on the right track, then look no further. Here’s some essential advice that will help you along the way.
1. Be responsible for your happiness
Your partner is likely to bring happiness to your life on a regular basis, however, it’s important to keep in mind that your happiness isn’t their responsibility. It is yours. Looking for someone that “completes you” isn’t the best mantra to have if you want to achieve lasting happiness and fulfilment. Ultimately, you should aim to focus on what makes you happy regardless of what your partner is doing or feeling.
2. Take it easy
It’s common to get caught up in a fear-based need to control your partner when you feel that you love them. However, being too uptight and controlling is destructive and feeds emotions of anger and resentment.
Some great relationship advice then is simply to take it easy and allow for space. You need to find the right balance of building a life together while still maintaining autonomy and your own identity. Partners should allow each other the space to have their own experiences and to be themselves. It can take some practice, but the rewards are worth it.
3. Give 90%
Being in a successful relationship involves giving, compromising and being generous. If you and your partner can both give 90% to each other, that is thinking about their feelings and supporting them, then you will both be very happy.
The other 10% is space for you to put your needs first and to be selfish or stand firm on something that you feel strongly about. It’s ok to be selfish occasionally and you’ll want to ensure that the way your life and relationship is going is in line with what you want as well as what your partner wants. Sometimes you will compromise and give things up, other times you will get what you want. It’s about being balanced, supportive and loving throughout your relationship.
4. Don’t stress about finding love
A loving relationship is something the vast majority of us strive for, however, if you haven’t found it yet it’s better to chill out, enjoy yourself and allow love to find you. Waking up each day feeling angry that love hasn’t happened for you yet or worrying about when you will find it does not set you up for success. Instead, you should focus on you and what you can be doing to enjoy yourself and make the most of your life.
By building a happy life for yourself and by working on the areas of your life that need improvement, you’ll make room for someone else. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t actively date and meet new people. Absolutely do that just relax, enjoy yourself and don’t put the pressure on yourself to find ‘the one’.
5. Love yourself
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else.” – Ru Paul
Love can be likened to oxygen masks on a plane. When the masks drop, we know that it’s important to apply our own before helping the person next to you. Well in the game of love, you need to care for your own mind, body and spirit in order to be in the best position for loving another.
6. Set your own boundaries and don’t put them on others
Putting boundaries on others and controlling their behaviour is rarely effective. However, one thing that you definitely have control over is your own behaviour. If your partner treats you badly, set a boundary that you know you won’t accept in the future. If that boundary is crossed, then you need to reject the bad treatment you have received and look for another partner.
7. Make an effort
Dating does take time and effort and simply doing nothing and waiting for love to come along may not be the best strategy. You should try online dating and socialising which could include singles events like speed dating. Be positive, make a great online profile and keep communicating with potential partners.
8. Put yourself out there and live in the moment
Sometimes love can appear in unexpected places and just because a relationship appears to have a shelf-life doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a go. Enjoy the moments life offers you without creating problems by constantly worrying about the future. Be spontaneous, be free and make happy memories whenever life gives you the opportunity.