As your friends and peers start to settle down and get married, you may be considering whether your current partner is “the one” and whether you are ready to make this huge commitment to them.
Marriage is a big life step for many people and if you’re unsure about whether you are ready or not to make the leap, the questions below should help you to figure it out.
Do you know why you want to get married?
While a big party with all of your family and friends along with pretty dresses, sharp tuxedos and a huge cake may be something you’re excited for, marriage needs to happen for the right reasons. What you really need to know is that you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner and that marriage will benefit your life and relationship.
Getting married in a hurry just because you want to keep up with your friends certainly isn’t the right approach. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself some tough questions in order to figure out what you want.
Do you want a wedding or a marriage?
We all love a wedding and for many of us, your own wedding day is something you think about and look forward to for a long time. However, more important than the wedding day is the fact that you are entering into a marriage. If you are ready to get married, you shouldn’t be planning for one day, you should be planning for the rest of your life with your partner.
Have you lived your own life?
According to may studies, it’s better to wait until you are 25 or older before committing to a marriage. It’s better for you to have matured and experienced more of life on your own before tying your life to someone else’s. This gives you time to figure out what you want in life and to ensure that the partner you settle down with has the desires and values that you want.
Is your relationship deep?
In the early days of a relationship you’ll have flirted with your partner, gone out on lots of dates and it’s everything is new and exciting. While it’s important to build a relationship where you have lots of fun together, if you want to get married you should be connected on a deeper level too. Can you handle the tough times and overcome challenges together as well as enjoying the good times?
Do you trust your partner?
It’s important to ask yourself whether you truly know your partner and whether you trust them. Getting married simply because you have been together for a while is not a good reason. You should know your partner’s goals and dreams, you should know how they react to different situations and you should love them in spite and because of everything you know. Most importantly, you should trust them completely as this a key ingredient for a successful marriage.
Do you want to change your partner?
Nobody’s perfect, but if you’re entering into a marriage hoping that your partner will change their ways you may be disappointed further down the line. A big commitment like marriage does not necessarily change anyone, so you should ensure that you love your partner for who they are now.
Do you resolve conflicts well together?
Throughout life, and in a marriage, there will be plenty of problems that come your way. When it comes to having a healthy and successful relationship, it’s important that you don’t gloss over problems and think that ignoring them will make them go away. Making compromises and resolving problems with your partner is crucial in a marriage so make sure you have already built this foundation before making a big commitment.
Have planned for the future together?
If you’re in a serious and committed relationship, you should be making plans for your future together. It’s important that what you want from life matches well, for example:
- Do you want to have children?
- Where do you see yourself living and settling down?
- Do you want to travel the world?
- Where do you see your career heading?
If there are any major clashes in your dreams and values then it’s better to find these out early and consider what you are willing to compromise on and what you aren’t.
Do your family and friends approve of your partner?
This can be a tricky area and you may think that when it comes to your chosen life partner, the only opinion that counts is yours. However, over time if there are rifts in your family and friendship groups caused by your choice in partner this will have a big impact on your life and relationships. You may not want to jeopardise your support system or be alienated so if your friends or family have concerns, listen to what they have to say.
Can you imagine your life without your partner?
If you truly love your partner, are happy, can’t see yourself with anyone else and can’t imagine your life without them in it, then you’re ready for marriage. Enjoy what you have, continue to build on it and don’t be afraid of making a commitment!